Hi again,
seems the time between my posts is averaging out at about once a month (note to self-post more!)
Summer needn’t be a testing time for recovering alcoholics/addicts. Sure there’s the never ending slew of barbecues and family gatherings where everyone else is getting quietly (or Loudly!) merry and sunburnt, but this dosen’t mean we have to suffer.
I’ve just come back from a wonderful long weekend at Disneyland Paris with my wife and daughter and my wife’s parents. While it would not be fair to say they spent the whole time drinking, they did consume a fair amount, especially in the evenings. At one point my father in law asked me, “dosen’t it make you crazy watching all of us drinking?”
My answer was truthful and simple. “No it dosen’t, maybe in the early days of my recovery I felt uncomfortable around other people drinking, but not anymore.”
I have learned a coping strategy for these kinds of situations, whether it be a visit to a pub for a special occasion or for dinner, or family gatherings or any situation where alcohol (or drugs for that matter) will be a feature.
The first and most important part of my strategy is “ALWAYS take your parachute”
What I mean by this is always prepare an exit for yourself before you set out. For example, if you’re going out to dinner with family or friends, offer to drive them, thus providing yourself with an excellent reason why you’re not drinking (assuming they don’t already know why ).
It’s a good idea to take your car anyway, as if you do feel uneasy, you can make a fairly quick escape and maybe return to pick them up later. In fact I have done just that quite a few times.
But what if you don’t drive or have a car?
Parachutes of our kind come in all shapes and sizes-take your phone, or just the number of your sponsor or closest AA friend.
The second part of my strategy is this: If you feel uncomfortable – LEAVE.
If your family or friends don’t understand this and find it strange/rude/whatever, that is THEIR problem, not yours-your responsibility is do do whatever it takes to stay sober, you can explain to them if you want to, but it’s not a requirement.
We visit my wife’s parents for about two weeks at a time -usually a couple of times a year. They live in quite an isolated area so a lot of drinking goes on at their home and I have little chance of getting to a meeting while we are there.
On the rare occasions that I do feel uncomfortable around them drinking ( usually when they’ve been at it for a while), I can’t just pack up and leave, but I can go for a walk or even just go to a different room and read for half an hour or so. This usually does the trick, but if not, then a call to my sponsor or a close AA friend is the answer.
Friends and Family who know about your alcoholism may not understand it, but will usually be supportive and understand if you don’t want to attend a particular event. If they don’t, and give you a hard time about it, maybe it’s time to ask if they’re really such a good friend after all.
Anyway here’s a pic from my Disney visit – I can remind myself to stay sober Anywhere…
(oops! I’ll upload the pic later today…)
Be Well
Fluke ;-D
